I was sure it was supposed to snow yesterday and was quite relieved when it chose to forgo that plan.  The temperature was too warm, the clouds were too high, and only a few winter flurries passed by my window as I sat reading.  Much to my dismay, I awakened to a snow covered yard and trees lowering their branches under the weight of the white wetness that covered their limbs.  And it has not stopped all day long, though the temperature is still warmer than freezing so the sidewalks and roads are wet rather than icy.  I checked the weather forecast for tomorrow and it's supposed to be in the upper 40's.  Hopefully, this final bid to winter will not last.  It does make me wonder, though, if we will have snow for Easter.

I remember one year when I was a child, living in Mercersburg, Pennsylvania.  A nor'easter blew through and left about a foot or more of snow on the ground on Easter Sunday.  I was so disappointed because I couldn't wear my new Easter dress and shoes and we couldn't go for an egg hunt outside.  My relatives were supposed to come but no one believed they would even attempt it in such inclement weather.  Imagine all of our surprise when we saw Uncle George and Aunt Elma making their way through the drift at the top of the drive, laundry baskets in hand.  I guess there washer was broken and clean clothes demanded that they make the trip, snow or no snow.

Anyway, I sit here and watch the snow fall outside the window.  I have some chicken soup simmering on the stove and a little, fat, robin is hopping around on the sidewalk.  It's the first one I have seen this year.  I can't help but imagine it's thinking, "what the hell?  I just flew all this way for this?  What's going on here?"  Well Robin, you have got to love spring!

I am so frustrated with government today.  I really think we should fire everyone, pick up the original constitution and amendments and start from scratch.  We need to find statesmen to lead us and not politicians who take advantage of us.  We need to find people who will take the unfavorable steps to accomplish things like balanced budgets.  We should be electing people who represent the people and not the parties.  And as I get older, and realize what has happened in our government since I have been voting, I believe it's time to "get tough".  No, this doesn't mean get rid of women's rights, or guns, or same sex marriages, but it means that we all need to be willing to make some sacrifices and not just us, the little guys who have no say because we either lack the money or the means to make a difference in our government.  As well, it means to get tough with the men and women who are serving our needs because we put them in ofice.  It means it's time to make each one accountable starting with President Obama all the way down the line, Democrats and Republicans alike.  It's time the politicians remembered that they work for us.

But how to accomplish this is beyond my grasp.  We tried it with elections but once the politician gets into office, he/she tends to forget they represent the people and begin representing a party, or what's best for the people who gave money to their campaigns.  It seems so dishonest to me, yet I have to pay my taxes, I have to follow the laws, I have to be held accountable for my actions, while these bozos just string things along until someone else can make a decision or another party is in office.  They add things to bills which have nothing to do with the original bill.  And they don't listen to the little guy at all, instead playing the political game with themselves and their money bags. 

I wonder if Americans are even aware of the bullshit that takes place in Congress.  And if we realized it what we could do, as a country, to stop the waste and fraud and unconstitutional decisions that are made?  It takes more than an election, that's for sure.  And the media sure doesn't help.  I watch the news and wonder why 3 to 5 minutes is spent on news while the rest of the 30 minutes has to do with a killing in Kentucky or whether the Kardashian baby is a boy or a girl.  What is wrong with people that they put up with this garbage.  Don't we care?

As much as I enjoy seeing the family unit with the Obamas, I have learned not to trust them.  I hear so many rumors from everything to his birth to the denial, by him, of his own actions and those taken by people in his office, that I can no longer believe him.  There is always some truth to rumor and there are so many rumors out there that I question his integrity.  And he is great at playing the blame game.  For example, he added the sequester into legislation and now blames the Republicans for having it (or for waiting until they HAD to have it), yet it was his idea. And what is with closing the White House doors due to the sequester and lack of funds to pay the Secret Service.  That's bullshit!  They should already have the money to pay the Secret Service BUT if you have to cut back something don't do it to the Secret Service.  Cut back some of Michelle Obama's personal assistants...it's rumored she has 20 of them.  And don't play golf with the likes of Tiger Woods.  And talk about misuse of Executive Orders (drones) or Executive Privilege (Fast and Furious).

And it's not just the Obamas and the Democratic Party.  The Republicans are just as bad.  Take Jeff Sessions and the BS he put out about Obamacare.  The Senator stated his findings were based on "a realistic set of assumptions" and he dropped this little nut just hours before the GAO report was supposed to go public.  Unfortunately, the Republicans and those against Obamacare pounced on this and didn't even bother to acknowledge the rebuff made by the GAO.  What the people fail to realize is that the question was put to the GAO by Sessions regarding the worse case scenario and what those results would be.  He required the GAO to project what might happen to the long-term national debt under the following circumstances; (a) Congress acts to end each and every one of the tax provisions that are a critical part of the financing mechanism for the law, (b) each and every cost cutting measure in the law fails completely, and (c) every dollar of spending under the law remaining completely untouched.  He also asked they assess the impact Obamacare might have on the long-term national debt should the law be carried out exactly as it is written and currently exists.  In response this question, the GAO study reported, “The primary deficit declined 1.5 percentage points as a share of GDP over the 75-year period in this (GAO’s Baseline Extended) simulation.”  (Thank you Rick Unger from Forbes for your article!)  Manipulation is the name of the game, and we, as American citizens, are being manipulated by then every day.


Neither party is willing to truly compromise yet they are willing to point fingers saying the other party wouldn't give enough.  Congress is killing us, the White House is killing us, and our people do nothing but glue themselves to the electronics and close their eyes to the destruction of our government.  And those of us that do care have no idea what to do to change things as our hands appear to be tied. Yes, this is a very frustrating time in our government and I don't see any end in sight.

Mental Pause

 

 I don't notice big changes happening to men during this time of their lives.  In their 40's there is the whole "mid-life crisis" thing, but their bodies don't change too much, at least not that I can tell.  Women, however, really get the brunt of some nasty shit that happens to their bodies.  And it lasts about 10 years.  Incredibly unfair.  

The first thing that goes is the mind.  And not all at once, just a little at a time.  For example, about eight years ago I was standing in the kitchen speaking with my son, telling him of something that happened at work when he says to me "keep going"...."what do you mean?" I replied.  "Your story, keep going...."  Well, I thought and thought and thought and could not, for the life of me, remember what the hell I was talking about.  I started laughing and said to him..."I don't know, I've lost my train of thought."  Kyle gets this incredulous look upon his face and says, "Train?  Train of thought?  Do you know how long it's been since you have had a full train of thought?  You are more a caboose of thought, or a dining car of thought.  You are definitely not a full train of thought!"  Thanks kiddo, and it just gets worse.

The next thing that happens is little black hairs start to appear on the upper lip and chin.  And the nose hairs begin to grow out of the nostrils.  It's ugly and embarrassing.  And pretty soon it isn't just one or two, it's an entire mustache and beard which needs to be removed with laser treatment or some kind of depilatory... like wax....which leaves an ugly red mustache when the wax is yanked off the skin at the speed of sound.....the sound of AHHHHHHHHH DAMNIT! 

Another change is the body.  One minute there is a svelte, attractive woman with fabulous legs in the mirror and 6 months later, out of nowhere, 45 pounds has stuck to the ass and thighs, facial hair is giving the appearance of Sasquatch, the arms have become Aunt Bea's and the body looks 6 months pregnant.  What the hell?  And worse nothing has changed, no food intake, no alcohol intake, no change in exercise....but Lord have Mercy, it takes a village to get the weight off and the body back...and I haven't got a village!

And the hot flashes.....it's very hard to describe the sense of burning from the inside out, the red face, the sweat, the heat making it hard to breathe and nothing to do about it but let it pass.  Even sticking the head in the freezer (something my mother taught me) or putting a cool rag on the back of the neck never helps.  You just have to ride the wave!

Hopefully I'm finished with it, though I get a heat wave every now and then.  At the moment I am working on the weight which is the bane of my existence.  Guess I should be walking instead of typing....so off I go!

 Sacrifices

I have a battle every day, a mental campaign that tends to take its toll on so much of me.  So I take medication to even out my temperament, to balance my negative with my positive, and to make me a creature that does not allow my emotions to run my life.  These little pills help me stay focused on tasks as hand and hamper my tendency to wander through my head and my past.  Like everything in life, this illness and its many layers of abnormality that are calmed by the use of prescription drugs have side affects which are both positive and negative.  The largest drawback I can find with their use is my loss of creativity.  The nullifying of my emotions, the removing it from the surface like taking a loofah to my skin, has left me unable to write, to paint, to create.  I am dull.  And it is not only in my ability to concoct and design that is affected, it is my communications skills as well.  I find I do not wish to begin conversations, where as I was once the life of the party.  There are many times, now, where I have absolutely nothing to say so I just shut up, whereas I used to have an opinion on everything.

But not everything is lost with these medications.  I listen more to others and actually hear what they say to me.  I am still very positive for I no longer dwell on the misfortunes I have had through my life.  And, although I remember the past, I do not linger there for prolonged periods of times wishing things were different, or that I had acted rather than reacted. I respect my relationships more as I am no longer self focused and selfish.  And I have learned to love in a different manner than before.  It is more mature, fuller, more meaningful, and taken much more seriously than in my previous life.  

But I do miss my creativity.

A new wine discovery

Being an employee of the Cost Plus World Market, I am able to explore a wide variety of wines, some good, some bad, some worse, but some most extraordinary. That is the bottle I opened this evening. I know why it is called Cashmere for that is exactly what it invokes as it is savoured upon the pallet. A smooth, dark, rich, luxurious drink that melts down the throat filling the nose and mouth with deliciousness. But allow me to start at the beginning.

My boss talked me into this saying it was her absolute favorite wine. Being an Explorer member, I was able to purchase the $15 bottle of wine for $12. Because Cindi could not say enough good about it, I bought two bottles in the hopes that our tastes melded. If it ended up being a bust, I could always cook with it, right? So, as I have the day off tomorrow, I decided to try it this evening.

I opened the bottle and let it breathe for a half an hour, drooling in anticipation as the aroma teased my senses. Borrowing Kyle's bordeaux glass, I filled the crystal's globe with the deep burgundy liquid. The color reached the outer circle, bringing the depth all the way to the glass.

I gently swirled the crystal in my hand and the body of the wine filled my nose. The aromas of dark fruits and tobacco first filled my head making my mouth water in anticipation. Then there was a slight hint of something familiar but just beyond my grasp. I rested then dipped my nose into the glass once again, hoping to identify this mysterious aroma.....mint, just a touch of mint. What an incredible experience; I just had to keep breathing it in making sure my nose and mind were in tune. Yes, mint. My mouth watered more.

Bringing the cold glass to my lips I gently tilted it upward. My mouth filled with the cold liquid which I held upon my tongue for an extended period of time before swallowing. There was no after shock, no knghha that can take the back of the throat and the nose by surprise as the tannins fill them. There was the slight taste of raspberries and cherries. The sides of my tongue perked up as the slight taste of mint brushed past the taste buds there. And the aftertaste was slightly floral. But everything was dark, smooth, velvety soft, and I fell in love!

I have savoured half of the bottle already and am surprised at its continued deliciousness. Coffee has made itself known as well, and these flavours are combined to create heaven. If you have not yet experienced Cline's Cashmere, I would highly suggest opening a bottle and sharing it with someone you love.