Mental Pause

 

 I don't notice big changes happening to men during this time of their lives.  In their 40's there is the whole "mid-life crisis" thing, but their bodies don't change too much, at least not that I can tell.  Women, however, really get the brunt of some nasty shit that happens to their bodies.  And it lasts about 10 years.  Incredibly unfair.  

The first thing that goes is the mind.  And not all at once, just a little at a time.  For example, about eight years ago I was standing in the kitchen speaking with my son, telling him of something that happened at work when he says to me "keep going"...."what do you mean?" I replied.  "Your story, keep going...."  Well, I thought and thought and thought and could not, for the life of me, remember what the hell I was talking about.  I started laughing and said to him..."I don't know, I've lost my train of thought."  Kyle gets this incredulous look upon his face and says, "Train?  Train of thought?  Do you know how long it's been since you have had a full train of thought?  You are more a caboose of thought, or a dining car of thought.  You are definitely not a full train of thought!"  Thanks kiddo, and it just gets worse.

The next thing that happens is little black hairs start to appear on the upper lip and chin.  And the nose hairs begin to grow out of the nostrils.  It's ugly and embarrassing.  And pretty soon it isn't just one or two, it's an entire mustache and beard which needs to be removed with laser treatment or some kind of depilatory... like wax....which leaves an ugly red mustache when the wax is yanked off the skin at the speed of sound.....the sound of AHHHHHHHHH DAMNIT! 

Another change is the body.  One minute there is a svelte, attractive woman with fabulous legs in the mirror and 6 months later, out of nowhere, 45 pounds has stuck to the ass and thighs, facial hair is giving the appearance of Sasquatch, the arms have become Aunt Bea's and the body looks 6 months pregnant.  What the hell?  And worse nothing has changed, no food intake, no alcohol intake, no change in exercise....but Lord have Mercy, it takes a village to get the weight off and the body back...and I haven't got a village!

And the hot flashes.....it's very hard to describe the sense of burning from the inside out, the red face, the sweat, the heat making it hard to breathe and nothing to do about it but let it pass.  Even sticking the head in the freezer (something my mother taught me) or putting a cool rag on the back of the neck never helps.  You just have to ride the wave!

Hopefully I'm finished with it, though I get a heat wave every now and then.  At the moment I am working on the weight which is the bane of my existence.  Guess I should be walking instead of typing....so off I go!